Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.
Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
Marine, gathered these rules together from around the Web, updated them a bit and sent them to me. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.